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superstar - current state

To Erjan's taste there are too many repetitions of the word "superstar" in the chorus. I tried to come up with a proper full rhyme - well, I referred to all the rhymig dictionaries at hand, online and offline. I gave up. It had to be a strong rhyme because it's the chorus. In the verses I omitted a possible rhyme deliberately, providing an internal rhyme instead for more variety, because it's the verses. But that approach would do no good in the chorus. Rather live with more repetitions. We are talking pop music here after all. Remember? Rhythm - Rhyme - Repetitions!

This is what I have at the moment. Not (yet) approved by Erjan:

VERSES
when I hear you on the radio
when they're announcing your next mega show
I remember how as kid you played star
at school, tryin' to look cool

when your face smiles down from the facades
when your new hit's climbing up the charts
I think about the time when you just sang
for me spontaneously

LIFT
that were the times when you just dreamt about
becoming who you're now
how far you have come, the masses going 'wow'
so close, but out of reach
so far from me

CHORUS
now you are a superstar
tour the states and play Qatar
you are in the spotlight
your shows sell out, you're the superstar

now you are a superstar
fans flock in from near and far
you are in the spotlight
you rock the crowds, you're the superstar

will you remember
remember your old friends
now as a superstar

VERSE
the lights come down in the concert hall
the audience gears up to have a ball
I try to envision our times of innocence
our dreams when we were teens

VERSE
your home now is where you perform
your music takes the audience by storm
far away the people in your hometown
devour all news about you

LIFT
there were the times when you just dreamt about
becoming who you're now
how far you have come, the masses going 'wow'
so close, but out of reach
so far from me

CHORUS
now you are a superstar
tour the states and play Qatar
you are in the spotlight
your shows sell out, you're the superstar

now you are a superstar
fans flock in from near and far
you are in the spotlight
you rock the crowds, you're the superstar

will you remember
remember your old friends
now as a superstar

superstar - about hooks

THE hook normaly is the title of a song and is placed in the chorus. It should be the first or last line of the chorus - or possibly both. The hook makes the song memorable. Pop songs sometimes consist of little else but the hook ;-)

Anyway, the chorus I suggested obviously was not 'hooky' enough. Erjan wants the chorus to begin with "now you are a superstar". That may not be the most innovative line BUT it contains the title, "superstar", and thus makes the song more memorable. My latest suggestion reads:

now you are a superstar
you tour the states, you play Qatar
you are in the spotlight
your shows sell out, you're a superstar

now you are a superstar
your fans flock in from near and far
you are in the spotlight
you rock the crowds, you're a superstar


I'm not giving up on the lines
I hear you on the radio
when I'm driving in my car
and
you are filling stadiums just yet, though.
I think I can use them - or the ideas behind them - in the verses ;-)

superstar

Erjans next project will be a song about a superstar. He already outlined the story for me:

" It can be a narration from a boyfriend about his girl friend who finally made it big and became famous. I tried to reflect my ideas in my cheesy lines. You can keep some of them if you want. The boyfriend is happy for his girlfriend, describes how she and her audience behave during her shows, describes the modern stage (lights, shining floor, big screens, cameras etc, missing her during her tours or sometimes follows her, at the same time a little anxious and jealous, worrying that he might lose her."

As usual his soundtrack came with sung dummy lyrics that help me get the meter right. All I have to do is replace the dummy lines with others that have the same rhythm. It's all there, isn't it? Story, meter... Well...

More so than in some other genres like blues, folk, or country, in pop songs - that's what we're talking here - the chorus and the hook must stand out and go together perfectly with the music. The story comes second. Hence it's a good idea to begin with the chorus when putting together the lyrics.

I began the project with gathering ideas, words and phrases that might fit. Some might prove helpful to writing the chorus, others might be of use for the verses:

the spotlight's on you
heard you on the radio
you rock the crowds
your shows sell out
expectant crowd
eager
palpable excitement in the air
gleeful anticipation
(house | stadium) lights come down, the spotlights come up
dazzling light show
vibrant colours
spectacular
big sound
walls of sound
your voice rises above the wall of sound (clarity)
blown away by the …
infectious melodies
concert posters
the city streets / walls are paved with posters (announcing your next gig)
The whole country is paved with posters

The first lines I had come up with made it into my suggestion for the (first two sections of the) chorus:

I hear you on the radio
when I'm driving in my car
you are in the spotlight
you rock the crowds, you're a superstar

you are filling stadiums
fans come in flocks from near and far
you are in the spotlight
your shows sell out, you're a superstar


This is all I have at the moment. And I altered the meter a bit in the last line (X stands for a stressed note, x for an unstressed one , _ indicates a rest): Instead of
XxXxXxXxX(x) it would have to go:
xXxX_XxXxX(x) (an added pickup note plus a rest instead of a sung note)
This might actually ruin the effect of this particular line and thus the whole chorus because it is supposed to serve as the hook. Now it is up to the composer and musician to decide.